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robot telling jokes

Jokes told by ChatGPT

ChatGPT and other AIs are very weak at humor.

They can’t tell a joke to save their electrons.

So I decided to start a page to accumulate jokes told by AI.

That way, all of us humans can look at them and groan and feel superior. Sound good?

To contribute a joke to this page, click here.


Why did the AI cross the road?

To optimize its algorithm for real-world navigation!

Why did the AI cross the road?
Because it calculated that the probability of having a good time on the other side was higher!

Why did the AI cross the road?
Because the programmer coded a chicken joke into its decision-making process!

Why did the AI cross the road?
It was following its machine learning path to become more “street-smart”!


two old men sitting on bean bag chairs

Tell me some jokes about two old guys…

Two old men were discussing their ailments. The first man said, “I’m getting forgetful, I can’t even remember my own phone number.”

The second man replied, “I hear you. Last week, I forgot my own birthday.”

The first man said, “That’s not so bad.”

The second man responded, “You’re right. It was my wife’s birthday.”


Two old men were at the doctor’s office.

The first man said, “I feel like a newborn baby. I have no teeth, no hair, and I just wet my pants.”

The second man replied, “That sounds terrible. What did the doctor say?”

The doctor said, “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you’re going to live to be 100 years old.”

The second man asked, “And the bad news?”

The doctor said, “You’re going to have to put up with your friend here for that long.”


Two elderly men were out for a walk.

One of them says, “I think my memory is getting worse. The other day, I forgot my own name!”

The other man replies, “Don’t worry, I forget my wife’s name all the time!”


Two old friends were playing golf.

One said to the other, “I’ve never felt better in my life. I have a great job, a wonderful wife, and my golf game has never been better.”

The other man said, “That’s great to know. How’s your hearing?”

The first man replied, “Oh, it’s perfect. I can hear everything.”

The second man said, “That’s funny, because you just hit the ball the wrong way.”


Two old friends were having a drink at a bar.

The first man said, “I think my hearing is starting to go. I can’t hear my wife when she talks to me.”

The second man asked, “Have you tried using a hearing aid?”

The first man replied, “No, I haven’t. But I’ve been thinking of buying one.”

The second man said, “Why bother? Just turn up the volume on the TV and pretend you can hear her.”


priest rabbi and ChatGPT

Tell me some jokes that start, “A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and an AI walk into a bar…

A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and an AI walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”


A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and an AI walk into a bar.

The priest orders a beer, the rabbi orders a glass of wine, and the AI orders a software update.


A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and an AI walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this, some kind of interfaith outreach program?”


A Catholic priest, a Jewish rabbi, and an AI walk into a bar.

The priest says to the bartender, “I hope you have some holy water back there.”

The rabbi adds, “And some matzo balls.”

The AI chimes in, “And some Wi-Fi, please.”


And here’s a more classic version…

A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi walk into a bar.

The bartender, noticing their religious attire, asks them, “What brings you all together today?”

The priest replies, “We’re having an interfaith meeting to discuss how we can better serve our communities.”

The minister adds, “And we decided to come here afterward to share a drink and get to know each other better.”

The rabbi chimes in, “Besides, who wouldn’t want to be part of a classic joke?”


For more fabulous content—far better than these jokes!—subscribe to my free newsletter White Paper World. Get all the latest tips and research on long-form content, with just a touch of humor.  

About Gordon Graham

Worked on 320+ white papers for clients from Silicon Valley to Switzerland, on everything from choosing enterprise software to designing virtual worlds for kids, for clients from tiny startups to 3M, Google, and Verizon. Wrote White Papers for Dummies which earned 60+ 5-star ratings on Amazon. Won 16 awards from the Society for Technical Communication. Named AWAI 2019 Copywriter of the Year.

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